First Day

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When I was in college in Maine the pop-artist nun Sister Corita Kent was a big deal. Even today when you drive up Interstate 93 you can see her famous painted LNG storage tank Rainbow Swash, one of Boston’s most prominent landmarks. Created in 1971, it’s the largest copyrighted work of art in the world.

Image 1-6-20 at 8.04 PM

Today is in fact the first day of the rest of my life. Monday, January 6th, 2020: first full day in Boston, my new home.  Not that I have a home, yet. I’m staying with my son Sam and his wife Saga and twin boys Miki and Ethan. They have welcomed me for as long as I need to find a place of my own. I’m a lucky dad.

It’s cold outside–this being New England in the winter–and my Californian body was freezing. Down parka, wool sweater, socks, scarf, cap, gloves. Light as a feather flurries filled the sky for an hour or so. I’m delighted. It feels like where I’m from.

I realized today that it’s going to be okay. Yes, I miss my friends in San Francisco already.  Just knowing that I won’t be jumping in the Bay with Josh on Thursday morning makes me sad; that I’ll not be having dinner with Ray on Wednesday at Gamine, followed my my guys at Cow Hollow.

But it’s going to be okay.

The past eleven months have been transitionally difficult, emotionally difficult. To live under the yoke of unwanted divorce has been painful. To live in silence and distance from someone I loved has been painful. To see what that person has become has been sorrowful.

My son David called last night to say wish me well on this new life journey, and tell me, “No more girlfriends, Dad. No more marriages. They don’t work out well for you.” I guess they don’t if one looks only at the outcomes.

Would I ever trade never having known the mother of my sons for a better marriage? Never. Would I ever trade the experience of love at first sight for never having met EL at a dinner party in San Francisco? Never. Would I ever trade the little time of warmth and happiness of marrying BA for never answering her email on OKCupid? Never. Maybe hindsight memory distorts the reality of all the suffering I experienced when these three–the only three in my life–relationships ended.

It helps being on the other side of the country.

Today, here in Boston, is the first day of the rest of my life. Not outcomes projected, or even wished for–but David’s advice won’t be taken. I didn’t move to a monastery. Maybe no more marriages, but girlfriends? Sure, I’m open.

Putting the past in the past. Creating a future that didn’t exist before.

First day!

 

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